mardi, septembre 30, 2003
yoz ppl... haiz.. after so many years of education... after so many schs i have been to.. still.. ST MARGARET'S is the BEST!! all the fun and laughter.. hopes and tears... it's like i never have fun like this b4... we play like nobody's business... after mass drill or PE.. we change in class... even though the teachers dun allow... and also outside the window is a public carpark liao.. but we jus din care.. jus walk into the class and strip.. hahaahhaa... but wasnt kan4 guang1 guang1 lah.. haha.. cos... we got mtd to change mah.. jus follow those steps.. u can easily change within 1 min or rather a few seconds... no need to walk all the way to toilet and change still must queue up..
we even climbed into the class thru the windows.. how fun... haha.. and was caught bcos the big mouth teacher .. cant really remember who went to complain... the Major Yum went in and question us.. hahaha... i was one of them too.. lol.. went to toilet also very scary.. cos sometimes enling.. will be there.. or rather most of the times.. then she'll wash her hands and then slap her hands onto UR butt... and then there'll be handprints there liao.. haha.. we also like wet the tissues and throw it onto the mirror... and even throw it onto the ceiling.. how fun.. dirty the whole toilet.. haahahah... there was once i remembered... when cyc was in a cubicle.. i was outside waiting for her.. then enling was in the toilet too.. enling went to search for a bottle and filled it wif water.. and pour it into cyc's cubicle.. and cyc was of cos.. drenched.. ahhaahahha.. enling tried did that to me twice.. first time i managed to escape.. second time.. my whole skirt wet.. ahah.. all my happy memories are in smss... all gals there.. nth to think abt.. no guys there.. so we r the guys there.. lol.. hahahaha...
this week there'll be a telematch in my school... it's compulsory.. we were supposed to wear dark shirts and bermudas or long pants.. whatever that is... ha.. cos got WATER GAMES!! haha.. i LOVE IT!! lol.. i like getting myself drenched.. though i will like whine.. but then that's for a while lah.. haha.. wonder what are the games sia.. think i'll enjoy myself a lot this sat.. mayb going out too.. to orchard.. haha.. mayb only lah.. then mayb going to grandma's hse also.. with myself all drenched?? hmm.... ha.. exams are ard the corner.. sian 1/2.. after exams have class BBQ at luxia's hse... she stay near the sch... then shun bian celebrate myra's bdae... next year is angela's 21st bdae... eh cyc.. angela u know right?? andre will also be going... haha.. there'll be a chalet... and i might be staying over for the first night.. might be only... angela will be calling all her smss frens.. all her aj frens... all her astronomy club frens.. shiok sia.. get to know more pple.. wah biang eh.. looking fwd to it man... ok lah.. tml got test.. gotta study liao.. still gotta look for stuffs for my grand presentation.. looking fwd to wear formal clothes to sch.. 6.5cm high heel shoes.. wah biang eh.. wanna wear it man...
shweet dreams;
6:27 PM
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lundi, septembre 29, 2003
WHAT THE HELL!! CYC!! I AM DAMN JEALOUS!! still have the cheek to ask if i m jealous... i wanna see keong, kim, issac and elle... dun even bother abt BOBBY CHAN and MEL... eh help me get their signature can? wah seh.. keong smiled at u? then u must be "ah ah ahahhhhhhh he smiled at me!! did u see it? he's smiling at me!! am i dreaming or what?? hhahahahahaha.." then u blush... lol.. u dare say no? haha... hopefully they r filming for the light years II.. wah seh.. i wont miss it man... so freaking nice... i wanna see keong and all of them lor... biang eh... hope they go tp... he still smile at u man.. why not me??? Y???????? keong.... kim.... issac..... wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh......
when is the man of my life appearing?? gotta this feeling that he's somewhere ard liao.. but dunno who... still turning right and left to look for him... eh? i dunno who leh.. how to look? haha.. aiya.. have then have lor.. dun haf then stay single lor.. as easy as that... hmm...
cyc.. u confirm going to aussie not? cos hor.. my parents confirm let me go liao.. ( i guess so).. then will be looking for sch next year or the year after or smth like that.. might have to go down to aussie personally to settle some paper works.. then might be putting up at jess new hse... lol.. wah seh.. all nicely planned sia... not bad.. hmm... haha.. see how lah... rental there ex sia... u confirm going not? then we look for sch together... then stay at jess hse together... tell me when u've confirmed everything ya?
shweet dreams;
7:04 PM
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dimanche, septembre 28, 2003
WOOHOO!!.. St margs ranking is 35th position.. increased by 3 position.. super good... ok lah.. typed this a lil the late .. cos i only feel like typing this today mah.. haha.. teachers expected this year's ranking to drop.. cos last year's 4/2 is super lazy and slacky... but in the end it increased.. ahah.. i think next year's smss ranking will increase.. sure increase.. to mayb 30 or 20 smth..
my senior.. who's now in my class... last time she also from sm she said every year 4/2 pattern the same one..prelim all do so badly then did well in Os.. and teachers always complain abt 4e2 gals.. say very lazy etc..... then say results sure drop.. then in the end 4e2 did better than expected
one good eg is......
mrs raj: girls ar.. y cant u pple be like 4e3? all of them are all so hardworking.. not like u. like holidaying like on a cruise... see all ur tests results... all so lousy.. this way i dunno how u pple pass ur O levels u know?
4e2: (sitting down keep quiet)
mrs raj: ok not to say ant other subjects.. say abt english... look at ur tests results.. all so lousy.. some of u even fail the test.. w/o english u cant go anywhere! even wang qian.. u know who's wang qian? from 4e3.. she's from china some more... i m so impressed with her.. she's so hardworking and keep asking me qns... and her tests results are improving.. and her latest compre result is quite good.. what abt u? u r not from china and can still fail... ( blah blah blah)
4e2: ( a little irritated and making monkey faces at mrs raj)
in the end..... when collecting Os result... news spread and said mrs raj cried... Y? bcos... got pple she taught fail english... tot they were from 4e2 but it's not.. it's 2 from 4e3 fail eng no one fail eng in 4e2... see lah.. scold so much.. in the end 4e2 pass also what... say we live each day like as if there's no tml... live each day and dun care abt tml... then say every teacher tell her that 4e2 is going to pull down the sch's standard and that she's damn stress and tired of listening of what other teachers are saying abt 4e2....
when prelim result is out.. the teachers calculated dunno what... and mrs raj said that 4e2 standard is not bad... think it's either 1 or 2 pts behind 4e4( the best class) or it's better than 4e4.. (cant remember).. see lah.. scold us for nth.. anyway it's all over.. happy that st margs ranking is increasing... though it's only 35.. but it'll sure climb up slowly to quite a high position... and there's already many pple appealing to get into smss.. many... count in hundreds.. cos of mrs lee's good reputation and also.. smss is always in the news... the NEL thingy.. sm gals were the first to take the train for dunno what... then last year so many activities bcos of the 160th anniversary.. and was in the limelight.. and now.. they bought buses.. the president challenge thingy... saw buses 74, 14 and 87... with smss peeps on it.. saw valerie, wenting and yen ching's pics.. dunno what other bus which also publicise smss.. but these are the 3 buses i've seen so far..
saw yen ching yesterday at bugis.. cos i saw this tanned.. kinda cute guy... then saw a gal next to him.. din realise it was yen ching... then i walked a lil in front... and then turned ard hope to see the guy's full view.... and then saw the gal's face instead of the guy's... and i find that she look familiar... i turned back.. then turned ard to look again.. and then realised that she's yen ching.. biang eh.. still got one small lil girl in btwn them. she saw me.. i saw her.. din smile nth.. she's so damn snobbish lor.. so proud... i also din smile at her what.. cos i dun quite like her.. her character not very nice... then when i crossed the road wif my mum.. and turned to the right.. they were still crossing the road.. so i managed to see them again... i saw her.. pointing at me and telling the guy dunno what.. and the guy looked up.. heck.. who cares... 4e4 gals cared only for themselves... keep all good stuffs.. for their own class and heck abt the life and death of the other classes... not exactly all of 4e4 gals lah.. but it's most of them..
ok lah.. gtg le.. anyway.. those whom i know... and is not licenced to read my blog please get out and dun read! as for strangers.. hmm.. shld be ok lah.. cos u dunno me mah... ha.. if i know u and dislike u.. and din tok to u.. pls dun think that u r a stranger to me and therefore can read my blog... u r not and is not licenced to.. jus GET OUT!!
shweet dreams;
1:27 PM
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samedi, septembre 27, 2003
freaking darn boring man... can those irritating pple and pple whom i DETEST a lot GET OUT OF MY LIFE?????
shweet dreams;
11:42 AM
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jeudi, septembre 25, 2003
stupid piece of shit! today's HAP prac is so damn shitty.. we have to collect our urine at every 20 mins interval... damn.. 3 per grp.. 1 act as control, 1 will drink water.. the other will drink salt water... i go so many times to toilet hor.. then saw this gal dunno from which level she went to the toilet twice.... can even make frens wif her liao.. she's from biotech.. cos i said.. o i recognise u.. haha.. jus now u came in i was also here.. haha.. then she said ya.. haha.. and she asked me if those urine were for experiment.. i said yes.. i tot she was from fsn too.. but she said she's from biotech.. and did this in year one too.. lol.. hahahaha.. so that's to say those in biomed or tech now.. cant run away from all these... hahahahahaha.... think u guys are doing these next semester.. lol.. last week's HAP prac was abt digestive system... and we have to donate our saliva.. stupid shit.. think we r some lab donaters issit? damn.. last week one still must PUI the saliva into a cup.. cos of the involuntary reflex action of the salivary gland.. (if i m not wrong).. then also drink water and lime juice and test lah... and then do experiment on our saliva.. today one is urine test.. if do it outside it'll be costly and NOW?? we DO IT OURSELVES!!! freak.. now my classmates all scared of toilet liao.. go in only think of HAP prac... if some one ever ask me what i remember most durin my life in poly.. I'll definitely say how they want us to donate our URINE and SALIVA!! yucks.. feel like vomitting when i was in there man.. like shit.. if next topic is reproduction.. i'm wondering what the experiment will b like.. hahahahahahha... call them to demonstrate?? hmm.. yucks.. haha.. k lah.. enuff of all these otherwise u guys will PUKE!! haha..
and hor.. joseph saw 2 guys taking pics in the males' toilet.. after he told us.. myra went to stand outside the males' toilet door open it a little and shout in.. " no photo-taking in the toilet" hahahahahaha... and then she walk away.. less than 3 seconds later.. two guys came out.. holding a CAMERA!! YUCKS!! so er xin... kana sai...
shweet dreams;
6:48 PM
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mercredi, septembre 24, 2003
read quite a number of ppl's blog... have been reading the same thing again and again in diff ppl's blog.. all they stated was that life sux.. well.. it's kinda true.. all we do now is studying, studying and STUDYING!! go to sch.. see lecturers' faces.. exams.. go home.. study.. sleep... all so routined... no element of FUN in it.. and there's not even a single thing to look forward to when going to school... NOT EVEN ONE. life is so freaking boring and sucky.. and everyone jus agrees wif me.. don't u? some jus wanna disappear from this world.. hope that we'll never be back again.. but sad case.. we cant life the world jus like that.. it's irresponsible.. and even worse.. "lost" to life.. cos u jus admit to fate and ur life.. leave it as it is and leave jus like that.. well.. mayb i shld make my life more interesting but HOW??
freak.. i dun even understand anything Dr Ng taught abt excretory system.. and now he has finish teaching ALL OF IT!! he took only 2 days to complete teaching ard 13 pages of notes.. each comprises of 3 slides!! freaking hell.. i'm gonna be dead if i dun read up man.. he tok so much and i have to listen and write down all the stuffs at the SAME TIME!! hopefully next topic is reproduction cos that topic is the LAST TOPIC!! then at least wont have so much to learn. maths also at last topic le.. damn.. i think think it's time for REVISION!! OBC test is on fri.. and SFP is on 1st Oct.. haiz.. must go memorise all those chim terms liao... otherwise i'll be dead. 2 long essay qns some more.. sian 1/2
this fri got as studies club annual general meeting (agm).. we were encouraged to go.. cos got cca pts to take also.. cca points is impt if u wanna go to singapore uni.. and if i'm not wrong.. the cca pts awarded is 10 points.. hear me clearly? i said 10 POINTS!! it's A LOT!!.. by jus sitting there.. playing games.. get to know more pple u get 10 POINTS!! man.. i hope i can go.. 10 points leh.. if u missed it it's gonna be a waste.. according to myra.. the meeting is at 5pm.. my lesson ends at 12.. but have also gotta stay back to do powerpoint presentation wif my grp.. for that grand presentation.. so many work to do... aiyo.. die liao lah.. but then i like the feeling of being so busy.. haha.. then no time to think abt other stuffs.. ha..
shweet dreams;
6:19 PM
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mardi, septembre 23, 2003
Goddess of winter, with a cold exterior but deep
down a warm, caring heart.
What element would you rein over? (For Girls) brought to you by Quizilla
shweet dreams;
6:43 PM
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sigh sigh and sigh... and more SIGH~
next week got impromtu test.. means teacher will give u a topic on the spot and give u 20 sec to think abt it.. and then u have to tok abt it in front of the class ALONE to say what u think abt it. we had a practice yesterday in our own group. i was chosen to represent the group to talk abt some stuffs in front of the class.. cos i did well for the practice.. but luckily.. the teacher had so much to tell and share wif us that we din have time to do the impromtu "model" ans and speaker in front of the class.. lucky me..
halfway thru my lab yesterday.. my throat became intensely pain.. it's really damn pain.. a moment later.. i sound like a duck.. till today.. still sound like a DUCK!! freak.. okok.. dun call me little duck gal.. cos i m NOT one.. ha..
grand presentation is only 2 weeks away. and i have yet to buy my formal clothes.. mayb have to re-buy.. i dunno.. see how it goes.. tok, present, graded, so many pple, got lecturers..... so many stress.. now thinking abt how to do the powerpoint slides tml... 6 x 6 rule... so many thingy... stress ar... exams a few weeks time.. FREAK... WHERE GOT TIME??????? esp HAP and SFP... SFP is the WORST!! what flavonoids... carotenoids... lycopenes.... then when carotenoids undergo acid.. what colour it bcome and what's the chemical name of the colour cpd... anthocyanins.... anthoxanthins.... blah blah blah... where got easy???? must take a damn long time to memorise all these terms... gotta study like shit these few weeks... otherwise u can see me in a coffin.. lying down... lifeless..
and my classmates and i were like toking abt if we die.. what kinda flowers we want.. haha.. so if we really die... we'll buy the favourite flowers for them and place it on top of the coffin.. so now.. i tell u guyz.. what i like and so if i happen to die tml... U better go get those flowers and place it on top of my coffin.. hahahahahah... i like white roses (8 stalks) cos 8 is my fav no. haha.. and white roses represents purity and innocence.. am i one too? ( of cos lah) hmm.. haha.. and also wanna baby breath... it's a kind of flowers.. freaking nice and sweet...so white roses ( 8 stalks) and baby breath in a bouquet... REMEMBER!! if u dun... i'll be BACK to haunt U!! HAHAhaHHAHAhAHHAhHAHAhAhHAHAhhAhHAhAHHa
shweet dreams;
6:03 PM
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dimanche, septembre 21, 2003
well.. think i din get the wrong title for my blog.. well.. to me life really sux.. it sux like dunno what.
i m sick now.. sigh~ already din feel well yesterday.. dry and itchy throat.. when i reach home.. i kena runny nose followed by blocked nose. and then neck ache... then din sleep for the whole night.. damn tired lor.. went to see a doc this morning.. and he told me that i m running a temperature. well i already knew it yesterday. i knew it that i'll kena fever this morning. cant revise my stuffs today.. was ordered by my mum to call me to rest more.. if feeling better and m sure that i m really ok then can go to school. otherwise i have to follow what the doc ordered me to do. which is to stay at home. sian.. but i tml got lab leh.. got maths tut... i dunno how to do.. getting back my CSAS2 test papers.. and teacher will comment on our public speaking presentation etc..... cant afford to miss school tml. so that's why i have to like rest for the whole of today and then start to mug starting from tml.... term test was over not too long ago.. and now.. term quiz is here..... this week have IPC and OBC quiz.. by hook or by crook i have to do well man.. otherwise i'll be in deep soup/ trouble... cant afford to do badly this time round.
sigh~ life is so damn sucky man... life is really not the same as b4 liao. everything has changed.. every single thing.. including me.. life is not as simple as b4.. life is so complicated... life is so so so so SUCKY!! if only i can leave this horrible world right now.. if only i can still remain as a baby.. no worries nth.. but all these are so impossible to do so.
yesterday while going home.. saw this guy in the bus.. he isnt that fantastic looking.. so so only.. only hit my acceptable range... he kept looking at me from the moment i board the bus man... i was alone.. luckily he alighted a few stops after i board the bus.. b4 he alight, he still turned ard and look at me.. alighted the bus liao still look.. like never see gals b4 like that......
i feel that this whole week i've been attracting guys' attn... stupid shit.. say hi and bye to me for no whatever reason... dunno on which day this week... i went to buy food with myra.. then when i finished paying.. i walked past this guy.. and he said bye to me.. i turned ard and look... tot he said bye to myra.. but he wasnt.. myra wasnt even next to or behind me... she was in front.. and when we both were abt to walk away.. myra said.. "see what see.. never see gals b4 issit?" i tot who was she toking to.. instead she was toking abt a malay guy who kept looking at her too... he's somewhere in front also... and myra's mum's fren's son.. saw both of us.... that day we wore a same brand blouse..and kinda a lil different in design.. but pple still know it's the same... ya.. he saw both of us.. but we dunno who on earth he is... so scary.. but i guess from that day.. myra and i attracted a lot of attn....
and on wednesday.. myra met up wif her grp to do grp work... and i was sitting there.. doing my work.. then i saw this year 2 guy.... from biotech or biomed or whatever that is... keep looking at me man.... he told his frens.. and all turned ard and look at me.. initially i tot they were looking at myra... cos she normally attract more attn than me... but then.. they wasn't.. that year 2 guy was sitting diagonally opp me... can see full view lor.. and from his seat he cant see myra. only me.. biang eh.. keep looking.. if i m not wrong he's one of the orientation leader i saw in july. he's most likely to be from AS studies club.. the club where my cousin joined too... then i also saw him on thurs.. he keep looking AGAIN!! and then out of no where.. he appeared in front of me toking on his hp... and then his frens called him to go.. then he turned his head ard and gave a second look... siao one.. like never see gals b4 like that...
biang eh.. attracted a lot of attn this week lor... and noticed that Roy these few days always sit in front of me.. ha.. always smile at me.. ahha.. his dimple is so cute lor... haha.. Roy is always somewhere ard me.. most of the time is in front of me somemore is directly in front.. he always sit in btwn max and eugene.. and i m always sitting in btwn myra and kaixin.. or else i always take the second or third seat from the right. he too.. lol.. and is in front of me.. lol.. haha.. dunno lah.. life sux still... dun think i've found the one yet... take my time.. slowly.. step by step... jus know i attracted so many guys' attn this week and these r only one or two of the few encounters man.... sian 1/2..
tonight must watch love on diet.. shou shen nan nu.. it's a freaking nice movie i tell u.. so freaking nice.. gonna watch it tonight at channel 8 at 8pm..
sigh~ haiz~
shweet dreams;
1:18 PM
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samedi, septembre 20, 2003
YAY!! yu guo tian qing le.... haha.. everything is cleared feel so happy once again.. feel that all and every bad feelings i used to have is ALL GONE!! haha... so happy..
hey... (u know who u are) we start everything all over again liao.. hope that this is the best one and that we'll never quarrell or anything again.. it's very horrible.. we'll get to know each other all over again.. everything jus start from scratch. frens always.. and now we're no longer online frens.. but it's frens who know each other thru sch. lol.. enjoyed the conversation wif u and sean yesterday night. he's so funny.. haha..
damn.. it's raining now.. and i've gotta be out of hse by 10am.. to buy formal clothes.. i need a top now.. wanted to buy maroon colour.. but dunno if they have it.. and gotta buy black high heels.. for my grand presentation which is less than a month's time. so scared.. present to every one in a lecture theatre with lecturers ard.. my heels.. i wanna it to be quite high.. haha.. so i can look tall.. hahahahahaha.... going to bugis then to orchard wif kaixin and myra. then myra buying smth for her bf.. for his bdae.. and i going to orchard to buy pen and printing paper.. ya... kaixin need to buy shoes, top and skirt.. all formal one.. lol.. haha.. the thing i enjoy abt formal presentation is the part where i can buy formal clothes and get to dress up so formally.. lol.. but then i dun like to make up leh... so ma fan..
the more i listen to my blog music.. i love it so so so much.. it's so nice... so pleasant to listen.. if u r happy and u listen to it.. u feel happy and if u r unhappy and listen to it... u feel very sad... ya... it's so damn nice.... dun wanna remove it from my blog.. lol..
shweet dreams;
9:28 AM
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jeudi, septembre 18, 2003
i've been thinking abt much stuffs today.. think until i cant help it and cry.. in public.. i feel so un-loved.. unappreciated... and everything... i dunno.. think so much that i couldn't take it anymore.. if this cont.. i dunno what will happen...
shweet dreams;
9:35 PM
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mercredi, septembre 17, 2003
eh terry i really really really really typed all of those in general. i din point to you or that gal.. i cant even be bothered abt her. i remembered you said dun say that all guys are bad cos u are not one.... and i said ok.... and i din say that anymore... (hmm.. mayb i did.. but i cant remember i dunno) all i said was only guys' words cant be trusted that's all and this is what i think. i DIN SAY guys r jerks... haiz... and i said i dun wanna quarrell anymore.. i really dun wanna quarrell anymore... and we din quarrell AT ALL. it's just that i wanna a few days to think what i want. is this wrong? i dun wanna tok cos i wanna think. i din take u for granted. i dun and i won't.. this comes to make me think that u take me for granted. o well... i dunno la. and now what i've typed in my blog is simply what i think. if u think that's wrong too.. then i've got nth to say. i din say women are perfect.. no one is. not even me. i know i have flaws... and u misunderstood what i typed and shoot everything directly at me. the sentence on men never forgive but forget... hey.. this is not what i typed.. i only copy it... is that wrong too? i din type this.... this few days my blogs are like.. a good half of it is copied from mails or other ppl's blog one... ok whatever... angry or whatever so be it... linking me or scolding me or hating me or whatever u wanna say me to be.. i dun care le.. i m in no position or no right to change everything and anything. jus still in shocked abt what u have written. i wasnt saying u.... I REALLY WASNT!! okok... i dun care le... u dun wanna link then i've got nth to say anyway it's ur blog. no use of me explaining all and such when i think that u cant even b bothered or rather say everything and such and in the end leads to misunderstanding... i did not tok to u now.... IT'S NOT UR FAULT!! it's jus that i need time to think what i really want.. i really dunno how to explain lah. if u dun wanna believe or anything i also got nth to say liao. jus feel so sad abt the way u scolded me in ur blog. i wasnt even angry wif u lor.. and my blogs really isnt pointing at anyone in particular lor.. i din take u for granted... ok.. i think u wont even wanna listen.. now i also dunno i angry or what liao. i dunno liao lah.. everything from now on is God's plan.. whatever that is going to happen to us in future is also God's plan... i've got nth to say le...
sadded~
sigh~
shweet dreams;
12:31 PM
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mardi, septembre 16, 2003
# 2 - THE PEACEMAKER
2's are the born diplomats. They are aware of others'
needs and moods and often think of others before
themselves. Naturally analytical and very intuitive they don't like to be alone. Friendship and companionship is very important and can lead them to be successful in life, but on the other hand they'd rather be alone than in an uncomfortable relationship. Being naturally shy they should learn to boost their self-esteem and express themselves freely and seize the moment and not put things off.
Famous 2's: President Bill Clinton, Madonna, Whoopi
Goldberg, Thomas Edison, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.
OK next is a mail from kaixin.. read it.. i only copy 1 third of it.. cos this is what i wanna comment on.
Tree
===
The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at painting trees. Overtime I start to use a tree on the right hand corner as a trademark for all my watercolors painting. I have dated 5 gals when I was in Pre-U. There's one gal who I love a lot but never dare go after her. She doesn't have a pretty face, doesn't have a good figure, doesn't have outstanding charm. She is just a very ordinary gal.
I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent, like her frankness. Like her cuteness, like her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her is because I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match for me. I'm also afraid that after we are together all the good feelings will vanish. I'm also afraid other's gossips will hurt her. I felt that if she's my gal, she will be mine ultimately & I don't have to give up everything just for her. The last reason, made her accompany me for 3 years. She watch me chase after gals, and I have make her heart cry for 3 years.
She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very demanding director. When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!" before running off. The next day, her eyes was swollen like a walnut. I purposely didn't want to think about what causes her to cry but laugh at her the whole day. When everybody go back home, she was alone crying in the classroom. She didn't know that I returned from soccer training to get something. I watch her cry for an hour or so.
My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she's not the type that will start off the quarrel. But I still sided with my girlfriend. I shouted at her and her eyes was filled shocked. I didn't care about her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she still laugh & joke with me like nothing has ever happened. I know that she's very hurt but she didn't know that my heart ache is as bad as hers.
When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out. After going out for a day, I told her that I have something to tell her. She told me that coincidentally, she has something to tell me too. I told her about my break up and she told me about her getting together. I know whose the guy. He has been going after her for quite a while. A very cute guy full of energy, lively and interesting. His pursuit for her has been the talk of the school.
I can't show her my heart ache but could only smile & congratulate her. When I reach home, the heart ache is so strong that I can't stand it. It's like a heavy weighted stone on my chest. I couldn't breath. Wanted to shout but can't. Tears rolled down & I broke down & cry. How many times have I seen her cry for the man that doesn't acknowledge her presence too.
During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was send 10 days ago when I broke down and cry. I haven't read it since then. It says "Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"
[me: too bad so sad... if u have known it, u wldn't have done it. if u know u really like her.. then go for her.. dun waste the chance.. bcos she might go someday after tired of waiting and the endless hurt u give to her. dun take things for granted well.. most guys do.. so what can i say? dun always think that if she's urs she'll be urs ultimately.. u r playing wif fate... pls.. dun ever think that way.. if she's fated to b urs.. but u never take any actions... fated to b together can also ended not fated to be together. not fated to be together can also end up being together... anyway.. jus dun take the person u like for granted.. if u really like her then tell her.. otherwise pls dun keep giving the impression that u like her... cos it hurts.. it really hurts... girls can wait... but when they think that there's no point in waiting anymore.. they'll jus leave. and if u happens to like that girl a lot.... and she left.. then that's too sad... too late.. and that's bcos....
Leaf departure is becos of Wind pursuit. Or bcos Tree didn't ask her to stay.]
ok.. now abt my life today.. it's kinda okok... ya.. went ard the whole sch as in the poly.. to look for "sexy voice" lol.. myra wanted to see him.. lol.. so both of us went search hunting in all the school's canteens.. every single canteen... including cafe.. but still cant find him. ok.. myra, i and fiona wore the almost same blouse today.. haha.. it was kinda funny.. anyway.. while myra and i were walking from engineering canteen 2 to canteen 1.. then this grp of guys who saw us walked from canteen 1 to 2 and then from 2 to 1... all of them said "hi" to myra and i... ok i saw some of their faces.. they r kinda cute... some only.. but both of us din bother to reply. and then when we walked passed jupiter cafe.. this whole grp of girls turned to look at us when we walked passed. and during HAP lecture break.. those BIE guys "christmas tree" whom i think he's kinda cute and have been noticing him quite a while... look at me.. hmm.. haha.. okok.. more to look at myra and i.. ya.. and when both of us walked passed Desmond... the one whom i think his side view damn super nice one... said to his frens..." look at the girl.. " then all his frens turned to look at myra and i... wah biang.. by jus wearing almost the same blouse.. we both look kinda alike gals attracted a lot of attn.. hahahahahah.. mayb i shld do this more often.. and the aunty we bought our food from today.. said we look like sec 2 girls.. if say p6 she'll also believe.. haha.. sigh~ we look so that young meh?
Roy offered me sweet twice today... hahahahahahahahahahaha.. for those of u who dunno him... he's tall.. tanned.. muscular.. have dimples... rich... spiky hair... looks kinda cute when he smile or laughs... looks funny in his specs.. lol... he always say hi to me in sch when he sees me... and myra is "jealous" she said.. "he everytime never say hi to me one... " and when he offered me sweet the first time... i rejected.. haha.. dunno lah.. it's what i normally do lor... ok.. then myra said.." i dun haf...." hahahahahaha... then halfway thru HAP lecture he gave me sweet.. he was sitting in front of me.. he turned side view and gave me.. haha.. then he took another one out and give myra.. he din turn his face this time round.. lol.. haha.. myra told me.. "he give u of cos must give me lah.. cos i sitting next to u mah.." haha.. so funny...
k liao lah.. mus tag me ya? lol.. i gtg for now.. so cya......
Me still thinking, wondering, considering, blah.. blah.. blah......
shweet dreams;
6:28 PM
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lundi, septembre 15, 2003
from CK's diary (without his permission)...wallet? male? female?
Someone said,"Wallets are a lot like girls. You really have to take good care of, because if you won't, something might happen..."
I know what he means. I just lost a wallet, and I just lost a girl. You know, it's the exact same thing.
One day, you just realize it's gone. You try to look for it everywhere, even going back to the places where you could have lost it. You think, and you think hard, only to come upon a grim realization: it's really gone.
Of course, you can hold on to some hope. After all, there have been some very, very lucky (blessed?) people who get it back.
Perhaps you could become one of those people. You sit home and you hope that someone would call, and that you would get it back. But then, some time passes, and you realize that it's still gone, and you realize that it's time to let go.
The first few days, you turn to your friends for support. Some tell you you'll be ok, some tell you that it was your fault and that you should have been more careful, and some tell you about their own experiences. They give you all sorts of advice, none you haven't heard before.
You then go out to find a new wallet, only to realize that you don't really want a new one. You want the old one that you lost. No, you don't want all these better-looking wallets, you want yours, because of how comfortable it is, because of all the cards and pictures and other stuff in it.
You go out and carry on without a wallet, keeping your money in your pocket instead. You throw away stuff that you would have held on to if you had your old wallet. And then, finally, you find a new wallet you like and settle in.
You then start filling your new wallet, little by little. It still doesn't feel as comfortable as the old one, but it's getting there. Then you start putting in cards and pictures and other important stuff in the wallet. Soon enough, there's as much stuff in your new wallet as the old one. And then, after some time, you feel as comfortable with your new wallet.
And then you realize that you've almost forgotten you ever had your old wallet. Sure, you still remember most of the stuff you lost on that wallet. But then again, you don't remember the feeling of hurt that you felt when you lost it.
That's because that wallet you lost is no longer your wallet. You're no longer holding on. This new wallet you're holding, it has all the important cards and pictures and stuff that you need. This is your wallet.
And this time, you tell yourself, you're never losing this one.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Les hommes oublient, mais ne pardonnent jamais;
Les femmes pardonnent, mais n'oublient jamais.
Men forget, but never forgive;
Women forgive, but never forget.
[ Copied this whole blog from yiqian. i find this real true. one thing i can say now is that. dun lose the one u truely like for he/she might never come back. they might, they might not. well.. this kinda things is hard to say. i dunno... i feel really bad and sad now...
guys words cant be trusted.. and this is very true. to all gals out there... pls.. whatever a guy tells u pls dun believe it.. for it will never come true.. by believing it will only break your heart. ok? some of my frens dun even believe what their bf say... cos they themselve know that it'll never come true. and Jeremy said so too.. he also said never to believe what a guy say... cos they dun or rather seldom keep their promise. if they do.. u r lucky.. but this rarely happens. he himself also said that guys are all jerks.. can u believe it? he is a guy himself and still say guys are all jerks??? well.. i dunno.. all i can say now.. and is what i really wanna say deep down inside my heart is that guys' words cant be trusted. ya..
i'm sorry.. sorry that i din tok to u.. i know u feel sad and such.. but this is what i really have to do. dun feel bad or sad ok? u did nth wrong. if u do.. i'll also feel bad and sad too.. by not toking to you now.. i already is very sad.. feel like crying.. but i really have to do this. really.. i m sorry.. but i'll talk still.. this day when i talk to you will come.. it surely will.. only this way i can then know what i really want.. and what i really need. this day of me toking to you will come some day.. mayb tml.. mayb the day after.. mayb few days later.. mayb a week later.. mayb a month later.. mayb months later.. mayb next year.. mayb years later.. i dunno. but i know this day will surely come.. jus to add a lil of my mind. why care abt what others might think? jus do what u like. if u really dun wanna go home or sch or whatever together.. it's entirely up to u.. and most importantly is that.. i dun think it's that u r afraid of others getting the wrong impression or whatever.. it's U who is afraid of that gal seeing u and i together and tot that u r attached so when u wanna woo her... u are afraid that she'll reject and such. i dunno.. this is what i guess.. anyway.. going to sch or home together or not is not that impt to me now. all i can say now i m sorry and that i really have to do this.. and also guys' words cant be trusted. ya..
I'M SORRY
shweet dreams;
9:46 PM
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samedi, septembre 13, 2003
ok.. jus pouring all i wanna say out..
I WANNA
i feel that i m no one.
feel that i m just so unimportant.
feel that whether or not i m online or rather whether or not i m in this world..
it doesnt make a difference.
i wanna slowly get out from that world of yours
i feel like i wanna get out
slowly get out from your life pal
i wanna suffer no more
some words that you've said
though it wasnt out to hurt me
but still i feel hurt
i wanna hurt no more
it's been many times u said all these
many hurting words and stuffs
though u din mean it
i wanna hear no more
i feel that i m some unimportant fella
feel that even if i perish in this world no one wld bother
feel that there's nothing to remember of in my life
i wanna leave
life is jus so meaningless here
say if i m leaving singapore or smth,
wld you care, my fren?
maybe but i doubt so.
i wanna suffer no more,
i wanna hurt no more,
i wanna hear no more,
i wanna leave.
ok.. pls dun get scared after reading this.. haha.. jus pouring everything out.. it's really what i feel.. sigh~ but really i doubt anyone wld care. no one wld remember me or anything. i dunno.. this is what i feel abt life.. it sux.. exams and stuffs.. it's so stressful... this is jus another round of stupid mood swing i guess...
i really think that whether or not i m online.. it really doesnt make a freaking difference... guess i shld jus come online less often.. or mayb jus use the school com to empty my mailbox. so that i wldn't have to come online at night to chat, to check mails, or to do anything else.
jus dun understand why some pple are jus so insensitive.. or mayb i m too sensitive.. i dunno. i jus think a lot.. think until i think abt things which are not true.. is it? i doubt so.. mayb some of what i feel and think are true. i dun even think i made any difference in anyone's life.. pple can jus carry on living w/o me... i dunno...
and i really wanna leave the life of one of my frens.. dunno why.. dun ask me why cos i dunno why. feel so unimportant, feel so unappreciated, feel so useless, feel so stupid, feel that we r slowly drifting apart ( i guess), feel so so so many things... sigh~ can i slowly leave? may i? can i? shld i? i dunno.. let time take care of everything. whatever u say.. sometimes i feel that it's jus say for the sake of saying and feel that it really din come out right from your heart. i m not sure.. but this is what i feel...
time tells.. time will take care of everything, whatever things that come my way.. i'll jus let it be.. whatever God have in plan for me.. i'll jus accept it.. whatever comes come, whatever goes go.. i'll accept it...
sigh~
shweet dreams;
5:46 PM
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hmm.. changed my blogskin.. dunno if u guys think it's nice.. but it's only okok to me.. this blogskin if i m not wrong it's the one sara created. YES.. sara.. smss sara.. ya.. kinda ok.. cos no other nice ones. anyway.. my music also changed le.. to pachelbel canon in D.. haha.. nice sia... first heard it in Mark's website. CYC!! remember not? then i downloaded 3 of the different versions. then slowly look for the piano score and such.. then managed to watch the movie my sassy girl.. on Channel U. heard this music once again.. it's super nice.. haha..
CYC!! if u can hor.. help me make my bloggie nice nice ok? lol.. thanks.. DUN SCREW IT ALL UP!! hahahaha... thanks..
kinda sian.. also dunno what to do.. feel like doing revision and such.. but it's kinda li bu cong xin.. feel like doing revision but too tired to do that. sigh~ and then semester exam is only ard a month away.. sian.. 2 weeks later is all the term quiz again... term test is only over for less than 3 weeks.. and here comes all the nightmares again.. i failed maths paper... sian 1/2.. as u guys know i've always been failing a maths.. haha.. and was forced to drop it.. but i din.. lol..
aiya.. dunno lah.. sian until cannot sian.. damn sian... exams exams exams.. when can all these be over??
shweet dreams;
1:11 PM
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vendredi, septembre 12, 2003
hey peeps.. i m in sch now.. anyway.. read u guys blog.. SING CHUN!! y ur blog skin so like er..... like bian tai like that. haiz.. why is like almost everyone from 4e2 leaving??? Y??? YYYYY??? miss them sia.. leavin me.. anyway i might be leaving too.. haha.. dunno la.. mayb but not now for sure... haiz.. wish li hui the best!! she cant see this but hope she knows it. and now.. who's leavin us next?? hm.. dunno.. haha.. anyway.. my times going to up soon.. so cya..
shweet dreams;
5:03 PM
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mercredi, septembre 10, 2003
I am the Saved By The Bell Online Quiz!Which Online Quiz Are You?
My inner child is sixteen years old!
Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something's gotta change. And it's gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.
How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla
hahahaha... same as sc... lol.. 16... hmm.. correct what cos i m only 17 leh.. lol.... hahahahaha...
aiyo collecting IPC test paper liao.. but the lecturer said we did generally well.. well.. how well is well?? if generally well and i din do well leh how? then very sad one leh....
shweet dreams;
12:54 PM
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dimanche, septembre 07, 2003
hey guys.. my com was problematic last week.. and i wanna thank those who have helped and tried to help me... ok.. i think i'll try to name all of them... hmm..
THANKS TO:
CYC, Wenting, CYC's fren ( i dunno who), Terry, Sing Jie( the one who solved the prob), Myra.. hmm.. i think it's like that only hor.. haha.. cant remember that much... but if u did help and i forgot to mention ur name... sorry... forgive me... =)
and ya.. i saw Energy at the hereens yesterday.. so many girls screamin.. my ears almost burst.... they r muscular!! haha.. and kunda looks better in real person.. shu wei is not that good looking in real person.. the only member missin is Toro.. hmm.. dunno why he isn't there... haha..
and watched Summer Holiday (xia ri mo mo cha) last night.. funny, romantic and touching show.... laugh at the beginning, cried in the end... cos it's so so touching.... ya.. next show that is not to be missed is.... Shou shen nan nu... played by Andy Lau and Sammi Cheng... it's a movie abt the process of them slimming down... and many sparks occurred while they were helping each other to slim down.. kinda funny too.. and also kinda romantic... it'll be played on 21 Sept Sunday 8pm. ya.. cannot miss it ya?
shweet dreams;
12:04 PM
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samedi, septembre 06, 2003
Aesthete
The ULTIMATE personality test brought to you by Quizilla
hmm.. my ah ma called this morning... haha.. she told me abt my cousin's bf... and again.. asked me if i have one!!!! OH PLEASE!! i m enjoying my life now lor... this kind of thingy.. next time then say lah.. not now.. mayb when i m 20 or smth.. lol...
eh wenting.. so jealous leh... u can go mediacorp... see those STARS!!... next time u bring me in lah.. ok? deal? DEAL. lol.. hahahah
shweet dreams;
10:53 AM
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vendredi, septembre 05, 2003
yoz ppl... today shop until siao.. went to bugis.. bought a casual blouse for $9.90.. then saw this wrap around skirt which myra said when i wore it i look elegant.. (haha..) it costs $15.. fiona bought the same one as me too... ok.. then we both look for a top which matches the skirt.. and i saw a spagett top from some branded shop.. and it costs only $9.. so i told her.. she took it to try.. n u know what? she look kinda like Jolin Tsai.. lol.. haha.. and ya.. she bought the top.. i can't wear spagett.. cos.. i m too skinny... (CRY) ... but i too found another top which matches the skirt.. the top the design is very unique.. it costs $21.90... and i din have money anymore... so myra lent me money.. lol.. haha... i brought $30 ++ then left with -$ 23.90.. cos i go eat tau suan.. haha... also no money.. my mum owes me $97!! cos she forget to gimme the money for the concession thingy.. so i m going to get it from her tonight...
fiona and myra said that they have a "duty" to do when school starts... it's to make me eat a lot.. and i think it'll be really A LOT!! cos they say i skinny then got quite a number of clothes cant wear... ya.. so like that lor.. and guess what i saw my pri sch fren.. geraldine.. jus now while shopping... she say me face changed a lot.. she said i m prettier !!!!! LOL!!! haha.. and asked me if i have a bf... GOSH .. why is everyone asking me the same old qn.. NO.. i dun have a bf... perhaps next time or smth.. see how.. love comes when u least expected it.. so jus wait... lol...
and today i know that Roy is holding a BBQ party at his hse.... cos he asked jeremy to invite fiona myra and i.... so.. we cant go.. sadz... lol.. i asked fiona where he stay.. she said he stay at serangoon garden... and is a semi-d hse.. WAH.... semi- d leh.. did i hear myself wrongly... then i said.. hmm.. too bad he got gf.. (haha..) .. then fiona said.. he broke with his gf and he was the one who initiated it.. wah.. best.. like that also can.. lol.. anyway.. i dun think he's my type lah.. i go for characters and a lil of looks.... so..... i dunno much abt roy yet.. but doubt he's the one... ya.. haha.. now i m still very carefree... hmm... enjoy whatever i have now.. cos i might not be able to enjoy it when i m a lil older... lol......
shweet dreams;
7:27 PM
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jeudi, septembre 04, 2003
Kiss - Because I'm a Girl Lyrics and Translation
Dodeche ar suga obso namjadurui maum
wonhar ten onjego da juni tonande ironjog choumirago nonun thugbyorhadanun
gu marur midosso negan hengbogiosso
marur haji guresso nega shirhojyoda go
nunchiga obnun nan nur bochegiman hesso
norur yoghamyonsodo manhi guriurgoya
sarangi jonbuin nanun yojainika
modungor swibge da jumyon gumbang
shirhjungnenunge
namjara durosso thollin mar gathjin anha
dashinun sogji anhuri maum mogo bojiman
todashi sarange munojinunge yoja ya
marur haji guresso nega shirhojyodago
nunchiga obnun nan nur boche giman hesso
norur yoghamyonsodo manhi guriurgoya
sarangi jonbuin nanun yojainika
[narration]
onur urin heojyosso budi hengbogharago
noboda johun sarammannagir barandago
nodo darun namjarang togathe nar saranghanda go
marhanten onjego
sorjighi na nega jar doenungo shiro
naboda yepun yoja manna hengboghage jar
sarmyon otohge
guroda nar jongmar ijoborimyon otoghe
nan irohge himdunde himduro juggenunde
aijgdo nor nomu saranghanunde
sarangur wihesoramyon modun da har su inun
yojaui chaghan bonnungur iyong hajinun marajwo
hanyojaro theona sarangbadgo sanunge
irohge himdurgo oryourjur mollaso
English
I just cant understand the hearts of men
they tell you they want you and then they leave you
this is the first time, you're special
i believe those words and i was so happy
you should have told me you didn't like me any more
but i couldnt see that you just rushed me
although i will curse you i'll still miss you
since i am a girl, to whom love is everything
i heard that if you give up things too easily
to a man, he will get bored with you
i don't think this is wrong
a girl says that she will never be fooled again
but she will fall in love again
you should have told me you didn't like me any more
but i couldn't see that and you just rushed me
although i will curse you i'll still miss you
since i am a girl, to whom love is everything
[narration]
hey babe
the pain it's not enough to describe how i feel
we were so happy together
but now i know
i've been blind
you told me that you'd never let me down
whenever i needed you you'd always be here
i can forgive you but i cant forget
even though you hurt me
i still love you
i still love you
don't take advantage of a girl's willingness to do
anything for love
and her caring instinct
i didn't know that to be born a girl and to be
loved was so hard
although i will curse you i'll still miss you
since i am a girl, to whom love is everything
although i will curse you i'll still miss you
since i am a girl, to whom love is everything
NICE SONG!! One of my favourite... i kinda can sing it in korean language liao... haha.... it's kinda like me a week ago... but not now.. haha... it's nice right?????? esp the video.. too bad my com crash... CYC!! send it to me again ok?
shweet dreams;
2:48 PM
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lundi, septembre 01, 2003
hey peeps... my piano exam is over!! HURRAY!! dunno if i can pass... but i m sure that i did better than last year... hope i can pass this time round.. if i fail then i next time when i grow up liao got time then learn again lor.. cos i dun haf time for piano liao.. with those cds subjects coming up....
ok.. the cds subjects i chose are...... 1) intro to psychology.... 2) intro to language and culture of Jap.. 3) intro to OTC medication... 4) intro to language and culture of french..... 5) colour and composition..... ya... haha.. interesting right? lol...
it's holidays now... wanna go shop shop... buy clothes... and also buy for next year new year... it's only in january leh... so now better go look for some clothes liao.... fiona and some of my frens wanna go to chinatown to buy clothes... dunno when they wanna go... they'll gimme a call....
hmm... wanna watch movie in school...... a walk to remember.. lol.... haha.. see lah.. see how ...
ciao...
shweet dreams;
5:20 PM
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