mardi, septembre 16, 2003
# 2 - THE PEACEMAKER
2's are the born diplomats. They are aware of others'
needs and moods and often think of others before
themselves. Naturally analytical and very intuitive they don't like to be alone. Friendship and companionship is very important and can lead them to be successful in life, but on the other hand they'd rather be alone than in an uncomfortable relationship. Being naturally shy they should learn to boost their self-esteem and express themselves freely and seize the moment and not put things off.
Famous 2's: President Bill Clinton, Madonna, Whoopi
Goldberg, Thomas Edison, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.
OK next is a mail from kaixin.. read it.. i only copy 1 third of it.. cos this is what i wanna comment on.
Tree
===
The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at painting trees. Overtime I start to use a tree on the right hand corner as a trademark for all my watercolors painting. I have dated 5 gals when I was in Pre-U. There's one gal who I love a lot but never dare go after her. She doesn't have a pretty face, doesn't have a good figure, doesn't have outstanding charm. She is just a very ordinary gal.
I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent, like her frankness. Like her cuteness, like her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her is because I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match for me. I'm also afraid that after we are together all the good feelings will vanish. I'm also afraid other's gossips will hurt her. I felt that if she's my gal, she will be mine ultimately & I don't have to give up everything just for her. The last reason, made her accompany me for 3 years. She watch me chase after gals, and I have make her heart cry for 3 years.
She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very demanding director. When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!" before running off. The next day, her eyes was swollen like a walnut. I purposely didn't want to think about what causes her to cry but laugh at her the whole day. When everybody go back home, she was alone crying in the classroom. She didn't know that I returned from soccer training to get something. I watch her cry for an hour or so.
My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she's not the type that will start off the quarrel. But I still sided with my girlfriend. I shouted at her and her eyes was filled shocked. I didn't care about her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she still laugh & joke with me like nothing has ever happened. I know that she's very hurt but she didn't know that my heart ache is as bad as hers.
When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out. After going out for a day, I told her that I have something to tell her. She told me that coincidentally, she has something to tell me too. I told her about my break up and she told me about her getting together. I know whose the guy. He has been going after her for quite a while. A very cute guy full of energy, lively and interesting. His pursuit for her has been the talk of the school.
I can't show her my heart ache but could only smile & congratulate her. When I reach home, the heart ache is so strong that I can't stand it. It's like a heavy weighted stone on my chest. I couldn't breath. Wanted to shout but can't. Tears rolled down & I broke down & cry. How many times have I seen her cry for the man that doesn't acknowledge her presence too.
During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was send 10 days ago when I broke down and cry. I haven't read it since then. It says "Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"
[me: too bad so sad... if u have known it, u wldn't have done it. if u know u really like her.. then go for her.. dun waste the chance.. bcos she might go someday after tired of waiting and the endless hurt u give to her. dun take things for granted well.. most guys do.. so what can i say? dun always think that if she's urs she'll be urs ultimately.. u r playing wif fate... pls.. dun ever think that way.. if she's fated to b urs.. but u never take any actions... fated to b together can also ended not fated to be together. not fated to be together can also end up being together... anyway.. jus dun take the person u like for granted.. if u really like her then tell her.. otherwise pls dun keep giving the impression that u like her... cos it hurts.. it really hurts... girls can wait... but when they think that there's no point in waiting anymore.. they'll jus leave. and if u happens to like that girl a lot.... and she left.. then that's too sad... too late.. and that's bcos....
Leaf departure is becos of Wind pursuit. Or bcos Tree didn't ask her to stay.]
ok.. now abt my life today.. it's kinda okok... ya.. went ard the whole sch as in the poly.. to look for "sexy voice" lol.. myra wanted to see him.. lol.. so both of us went search hunting in all the school's canteens.. every single canteen... including cafe.. but still cant find him. ok.. myra, i and fiona wore the almost same blouse today.. haha.. it was kinda funny.. anyway.. while myra and i were walking from engineering canteen 2 to canteen 1.. then this grp of guys who saw us walked from canteen 1 to 2 and then from 2 to 1... all of them said "hi" to myra and i... ok i saw some of their faces.. they r kinda cute... some only.. but both of us din bother to reply. and then when we walked passed jupiter cafe.. this whole grp of girls turned to look at us when we walked passed. and during HAP lecture break.. those BIE guys "christmas tree" whom i think he's kinda cute and have been noticing him quite a while... look at me.. hmm.. haha.. okok.. more to look at myra and i.. ya.. and when both of us walked passed Desmond... the one whom i think his side view damn super nice one... said to his frens..." look at the girl.. " then all his frens turned to look at myra and i... wah biang.. by jus wearing almost the same blouse.. we both look kinda alike gals attracted a lot of attn.. hahahahahah.. mayb i shld do this more often.. and the aunty we bought our food from today.. said we look like sec 2 girls.. if say p6 she'll also believe.. haha.. sigh~ we look so that young meh?
Roy offered me sweet twice today... hahahahahahahahahahaha.. for those of u who dunno him... he's tall.. tanned.. muscular.. have dimples... rich... spiky hair... looks kinda cute when he smile or laughs... looks funny in his specs.. lol... he always say hi to me in sch when he sees me... and myra is "jealous" she said.. "he everytime never say hi to me one... " and when he offered me sweet the first time... i rejected.. haha.. dunno lah.. it's what i normally do lor... ok.. then myra said.." i dun haf...." hahahahahaha... then halfway thru HAP lecture he gave me sweet.. he was sitting in front of me.. he turned side view and gave me.. haha.. then he took another one out and give myra.. he din turn his face this time round.. lol.. haha.. myra told me.. "he give u of cos must give me lah.. cos i sitting next to u mah.." haha.. so funny...
k liao lah.. mus tag me ya? lol.. i gtg for now.. so cya......
Me still thinking, wondering, considering, blah.. blah.. blah......
shweet dreams;
6:28 PM
