samedi, avril 17, 2004
smth happened today this morning dat affects my mood far too much to the extend tt i dun even have e appetite to eat. i dun really wish to talk abt it.. cos i've had a good long talk wif my mum, stella and qian. thx to qian for listening my probs. thanks to stella for reasoning stuffs and talk to me listen and give advice. they were useful. n my mum.. she's e one whom i talked to and feel loved.. i was so much affected by what happened n what i found out tt i m going to have a nervous breakdown and i doubt myself.. i keep asking and thinking to myself.. am i tt bad? why those ppl who dunno me dun like me? what rumours did they hear? who bad mouthed me? why they say things which r so untrue abt me? why they dun wanna know me better b4 jumping into conclusions? why if ppl dun like me den it's my character got prob? i asked my mum.. she said mei2 ge4 ren2 de4 ren2 yuan2 bu4 tong2. tts why some ppl wont like u.. den we talked abt bgr stuffs etc.. how her frens got attached.. how she first got to know my father etc.. talked abt my frens.. i told her abt yiming.. and she kept laughing.. haha.. dunno why.. she kept nodding her head.. and i told her abt yiming's character in class.. and e kind of mummy's boy he is.. so cute.. den my mum said.. this kind of guy is good.. haha ya.. i agree.. den we talked abt how my frens changed their hp.. n she shook her head.. haha. waste money she said..
she told me if ur fate is here u cant run away from it. she said if have den have dun have then remain single as simple as tt.. yes i agree. i love my mum lots.. i wont allow ppl to bully her.. she talked to me i talked to her.. i tell her abt all my frens and tell her abt most of them having bf.. she said dun look for 1 cos they have 1. ya i wont.. i promise mummy.. she said it depends on who is e guy.. ur luck n ur fate. if e guy is no good den it's useless. she said must look for good one.. etc.. said tt couples after 8 yrs of courtship can also break up. if fated to get married no matter what will get married. if not fated to get married.. now have bf also no use. she told me abt her frens and her experiences.. i really like this kinda conversations. whereby ppl talk to each other abt their experiences. my mum made me feel better.. if i dun talk to her abt it.. i'll go crazy. at least my frens tell me tt i m a real nice and sweet gal.. they assured me wif their words. dun care abt what others think abt me.. i jus have to be original. and b myself. thx to myra who told me this b4 too. today is e first day i saw my mum smile and laugh a lot. i m happy tt by talking to her abt all these made her happy. at least i made my mum's day today. =) she told me lots of stuffs which are all so precious. i shall remember it forever.
to err is human. i dunno what have i done to make ppl dislike me. anw i have apologised to those who r pissed off wif me. for i dunno what reason. jus said sorry n i m done.. i cant please everybody. not tt i choose not to please everybody. ppl jus judge me by e cover. anw whatever tts happened changed me forever. from today onwards i m a diff person. anw i wanna say a big thank u to my parents.. they spent e whole day walking ard to search for a hp wif me. n my mum esp.. looked for advert in newspapers and she knew i love flip-phones she told my dad to get one for me.. and my dad agreed.. though i haven got it yet.. i know n i think they will get it for me next week i think. samsung s500. looks classy n elegant. like i said.. i love classy, elegant stuffs. cos i m a classy gal.. i m also a girly gal.. cos i love girly stuffs.. n also sometimes a tomboy.. haha ok i can dressed up like a guy and really look like 1. tts weird but i think it's unique.. haha.. tt time i remembered when yiqian came to my hse. my mum went to e storeroom and digged out so many photo albums of me and showing it to yiqian.. haha funny right.. den qian said 'this is u? u look like a guy!!' ha ok fine.. i know tt.. haha.. anw i can look real girly, princessy, and classy too.. i love skirts.. no longer love jeans.. i only love jeans when i feel like sitting wif my legs on e chair.. haha.. but by wearing skirts.. it'll train me to be more lady-like.. this is what i hope to achieve.
anw long blog i've typed. jus wana say a big thank you to those who hear me out today or who onced hear me out and advice me on stuffs (relationships, frenship n some problems annoying me).. my mummy, yiqian, myra, stella, jiehui, karen, tim, pin^2, ian ang, angel, zhenhui, cherrise, may lian, wenting, yiming, terry. thx u all.. n i wont be e same again bcos of everything tt happens.. everything tt i have found out.. everything tt has affected me far too much. i din eat much today. cos everything tt happens affected my appetite. my parents r worried.. they tot i m not feeling well. no daddy n mummy.. i m feeling well.. yes i m hungry.. but i jus dun have e appetite to eat. emotions affect my appetite and mood. i m too emotional.. too sensitive.. while these r not very good points. but i dun wish to change it for i m who i m. these character combination makes me attractive n unique n special. not everyone ard me knows how to appreciate me n i dun blame them 4 tt. everyone is different. a long emotional blog. i dunno when i'll recover. but these will NEVER affect my studies nor my character jus tt it will b only a lil diff.. i m very special n unique in a way tt makes my surrounding frens n relatives loves me lots.. ppl who dunno me dun like me.. i dun care anymore. for all i know.. i m my relatives favourite. they love me lots.. they too also talk to me abt relationships.. esp my grandma.. at least ppl who know me loves me.. thx i love u ppl too.. =)
shweet dreams;
9:41 PM
