jeudi, octobre 16, 2003
sigh~ in school right now.. life still sux a million times man... hope the things i hope and wish for.. will come true... hope this hope that... hope for almost everything.. reached sch wif a sucky feeling this morning... life sux... din tok much to anyone... jus kept quiet.. myra asked me why i look sad... well.. i wasnt sad or anything.. jus irritated with life, with how things are right now... irritated wif many many many things... jus need time to get over it ba.. some of which might be over in a few days... some of which can only be gotten over in a few years i guess... i dunno... life is jus so sucky... havin a lil headache... have been studying wherever i go to... in train... during breaks... whenever i have the time i jus study.. like some stupid nerd... guess this is the only way for me to get me working and busy.. and not think so much abt some stuffs... but still.. when sleeping... when i m free.. and not studying.. when watching tv... i still think.. and think a lot....
dunno where my life is heading now.. jus drifting to nowhere... need days, days and many days to think... to know what i want in life and to know what i really wanna do now... think abt ppl... think abt studies... think abt ppl to ppl relation... think abt life.. think abt .. i also dunno le... have been reading one chapter of the bible at night whenever i have the time to... mayb i will try to read it everynight starting from yesterday night... i like to read the proverbs part... it's all so interesting and meaningful... read proverbs chapter 4 last night... ya..
well... no matter what life still sucks.. even when all these probs and worries are over.. there's still some probs that exists and might take quite a long time to get away... and even it does... new problem arises... when will all the problems disappear??? there'll be no end to it man... haiz.. i dunno... all i know now.. i guess i m already in isolation... like not toking much to ppl liao... and jus keep studying.. cyc knows when i m like that.. i tok less and study a lot... jus study and study and study... it happened to me last year too.. i kept quiet and study so much for ard 1-2 weeks... then slowly open up again.. actually i wanna live in isolation forever... but this is impossible... we cant live in isolation forever... jus have to be like america.. they too.. opened up.. after years of isolation.. ya...
so i also dunno lah... dunno when i'll get out of my isolation... see how and see when lor...
shweet dreams;
11:51 AM
